BDSM is exciting and involved and not for the faint of heart. There are many things that draw us to this lifestyle, and not all of them can be put into words. If you’ve ever thought about giving it a try, you may have run into a hurdle when it comes to where to start. There are so many different interests and paths to explore. BDSM is a huge topic, and there are so many ways to participate in it that, if we tried to compile them all, not only would we undoubtedly forget something, this article would be a million pages long. Deciding to give BDSM play a shot isn’t an easy decision and it’s certainly not one that should be taken lightly. You must read the reviews of the site first, read The BDSMSexDates Comparison. What Rating Does It Deserve? Based on the comparison you can choose a site to start your BDSM journey.
If you’re interested in the BDSM lifestyle and you’ve decided to give it a try, there are some things you should know. Even in its tamer forms, BDSM can be dangerous if you don’t educate yourself before you start. In general, most BDSM practices are meant to inflict pain. That being said, they are not meant to cause uncontrolled amounts of pain. They can, if done improperly, cause permanent health issues. There are delicate nerves in the human sexual organs (that’s why they’re sexual, they’re very sensitive). Those nerves, if damaged, are not easy to regenerate. So, if you’re serious about trying this out, take some time and do the research. It’s the most important step to take to enjoy this experience.
Educate YourselfWhether you’ve decided to find your partner from your current life, online dating sites, or through a mutual friend, avoid scams by knowing what you’re getting into. If you’re meeting up with someone for your first play session and they want to rush through the “getting to know you” phase, they’re not the person you want your first time to be with. The number one rule in a BDSM relationship is to respect one another. You should take the time to get to know the other person, especially as far as their expectations for your encounter are concerned. Anyone who’s trying to get an easy hookup by scamming someone they meet on an online dating site will not know the right steps to take before, during, and after your play time.
When you’ve found a partner and you’re ready to get down to business, there are some basic guidelines that will help you remember what’s important when it comes to your scenes. While you may feel like the toys and chains and where they’re going to touch you and how they’re going to dole out the punishment might be the most important thing, it’s not. You may think that your crop technique or how tight you make their collar is going to matter the most, it simply won’t. The biggest rule, the one that is all-encompassing and is what all true BDSM lovers live by, is to be safe, sane, and consensual in all they do. This is a mantra meant to protect all participants and prevent injury from the dangerous games we play. This rule applies to being fully aware and involved in all aspects of your play time. There’s no room to space out or be forgetful when it comes to your safety.
This applies to both how you meet your partner and how you participate in your scenes with them. If you’re going to try online dating sites to meet a potential mate, be aware that there is people intent on scamming you out of a pleasurable experience with BDSM. There are some who target those new to BDSM in an effort to get an easy lay and exploit their nativity and hunger. When it comes to the act itself, keep in mind your environment, your safe words, and your toys. You want to be in a space that you will not be interrupted. You want to be in a space that is built for or altered specifically for your scene. If you need to be vulnerable and exposed, you don’t want to be somewhere that will leave you worrying about being walked in on (unless that’s part of your game).
As far as your safe words go, you need to make sure that you have discussed them and agreed on them before you start. Assuming that your partner remembers them from last time of has the same understanding of what a safe word means could put you in a position to be pushed past your limits and expose you to injury. With your toys, you either want ones that are only used on you or your sub, or you’ll want to make sure they are properly sterilized. It is possible that the last person they were used on had broken or damaged skin and they could have bled on them without the participants realizing it.
This is vital. If you are in an emotionally fragile state, playing out a scene might not be the best idea. It could hinder your judgment and your ability to properly assess where you’re at on your pain threshold. This also applies to being intoxicated or using drugs. For the most part, these things can also impair your judgment and anything that prevents a clear head is not a good thing to mix with BDSM play. For subs, this can manifest as an issue with utilizing their safe words or communicating when they’ve had enough. For doms/domes, this can become an issue in reading the body language of your sub. They trust you to take charge of the situation and be in control. That means that, sometimes, you have to tell them “no,” even when they don’t realize they’ve hit their wall.
Consent is the biggest and most important part of the BDSM lifestyle. These scenes are not about abuse or being taken advantage of. They are not about disrespecting someone or hurting them in ways that they aren’t looking for. That is why it is so important to talk before each experience. You should both be clear on what is to happen, what things are off limits, and what you expect from each other. Whether you meet on BDSMSexDates.com(which isn’t a good, reliable site to meet someone) or they are your long-time partner and you’re trying something new, you should be on the same page. This can be the difference between a good experience and permanent scaring (either emotional or physical).
Keeping these three words in mind and using them to figure out the right path to take in any given scenario is the best and safest way to get started in this world. If your first experience is tainted with fear, the likelihood that you’re willing to try it again will drastically decrease. You shouldn’t be in a position of confusion or dread when you get started on a scene. You may be unsure and nervous, but that is to be expected. The point, however, is to have a good time, to have fun. The point is to enjoy yourself, no matter what you crave. You shouldn’t feel ashamed about your desires or feel like you can’t talk about them or ask them. You should feel excited to try new things and feel comfortable exploring your sexuality. Just remember to be safe. Your health is not worth risking by being lazy and sloppy with your scene play. You can be safe and still get freaky.